Leadership and Development Trainer
If someone were to say, “Look, I don’t believe in that motivation stuff, I think it’s a bunch of fluff, but I tell you what. I’ll buy one idea and try it for 30 days. What would you suggest? It would be this. Set aside time every day to read something positive to nourish that precious mind of yours.
Charlie “Tremendous” Jones, a motivational speaker in the 1960s, said that where you are five years from now depends on what you read. As an educational leader, one of the greatest gifts you could give to your staff is to convince them to make daily reading a habit.
So let me share what’s working for me. I read three things every day. I read a daily devotional, I read from my favorite Deepak Chopra book, and I read a few pages of one of my own books every morning. Why? You don’t form habits with a one-and-done approach – it takes repetition. Repetition is the mother of all learning. I design everything I write to be an easy read so you can refresh one idea at a time and put it into play. Emotional Intelligence 101 has 26 chapters and is 99 pages long. I encourage you to choose two or three books that trip your trigger and refer to them often, using them in this manner: Read just a few pages or a few paragraphs, reflect on an idea that seems relevant, and then make that idea a part of everything you do today.
Consider this. Books are tools. A tool left in a toolbox doesn’t do you much good. I can’t tell you how many times people have proudly said, “I have your book. See. It’s up there,” as they point to their bookshelf. It doesn’t do you any good “up there.” You can’t pound a nail if you don’t take the hammer out of the toolbox. If you do take the hammer out of the toolbox, you can pound a nail. If you pound nails with a vision and a purpose, you can build a house. If you read with a vision and a purpose, you can build a life.
Let me bear my soul here to explain why I do what I do. In an article in the Minneapolis Star Tribune, not related to coaching, I was described as “a former fist pounding basketball coach with anger issues.” That’s not very flattering, but unfortunately, there was a little more truth in that than I would wish for. I was a coach, and I grew up in the authoritarian era. My idols were the Bobby Knights and Vince Lombardis of the world. I could give a pep talk with the best of them, but when it came time to deal with problems, the “my way or the highway” mentality resulted in some pretty harsh behavior. I had so many wonderful gifts, but my lack of emotional intelligence kept me from being all that I could be.
So, I am on a mission to help people, especially young people, learn the art and science of self-control. Here’s my message based on over middle or under middle age, and you decide what that is. If you are under middle age, don’t wait until you are in your sixties to learn this stuff, do it now. How I wish would have learned this when I was 25.
If you are over middle age, it is never too late to learn. I am at the age where I have more yesterdays than tomorrows, but I have had more growth in the last two years than at any time in my life, and growth is exciting.
Here’s a warning – change doesn’t happen by Tuesday afternoon. Sometimes we motivators make it sound so easy, but it isn’t. It takes time and energy and commitment, but if you stick with it for six months you will begin to feel change, and it will be rewarding.
Denny Smith is a former teacher and coach, a motivational speaker, and an author committed to making our schools and communities safe and welcoming for all people. Excerpts from his latest books, Emotional Intelligence 101 and Coaches Make the Difference,” can be previewed at http://www.dennysmith.com.
