Superintendent
Saint Paul Public Schools
MASA President
For many individuals, the month of December includes family gatherings and personal cultural celebrations. The joys that come with these get-togethers can be exciting and filled with pleasant memories. At the same time the social opportunities may also require the need to navigate difficult conversations and topics that may not align with our own personal beliefs & values. I’ve been reflecting on how the strategies I’ve learned to manage family dynamics might also help me as a leader when I am managing the dynamics of difference in our district community.
Like several of you, I’ve sat at festive tables with family and friends where someone’s comment about public schools, politics, or current events took the conversation in a different direction. I always have a split second to decide if I will stay silent to keep the peace, speak up and take the risk of harming the moment and relationships, or just redirect the conversation toward another topic. These personal dilemmas are in many ways similar to the professional challenges we face as educational leaders when our communities are in disagreement.
The difference, of course, is that as leaders we cannot simply change the subject or avoid relatives. Instead, we are often expected to “host” the entire family—all of our community—even when they hold polar opposite beliefs. And unlike our personal gatherings where we might prioritize harmony, our leadership role can demand that we prioritize something deeper: dignity and authentic belonging for every member of our school community.
Those who attended the fall conference were introduced to a tool called the Dignity Index. The communication tool offers a continuum of engagement measures from contempt to dignity. In the earlier stages (1-3) of the continuum the language devalues and dehumanizes a person, while the language in the upper stages (7-8) honors the inherent worth of every person – even during disagreement.
The premise of the tool is to better understand where others are entering a conversation, so that we are able to respond in a manner that honors others dignity – their worth. The challenge is to see someone’s worth during a time that they are not showing up as their best self. This ability to intentionally commit to this cognitive shift is perhaps the most critical leadership skill we need right now.
So how do we actually do that in the heat of the moment—when public comment feels very demeaning, when social media is attacking our integrity, when we’re exhausted and our own patience is waning? This is where the Dignity Index moves from the philosophical framework to the practical day-to-day go to tool. What makes the Dignity Index so powerful for MASA members is that it is not just a tool for assessing how others are communicating with us. Perhaps more importantly—it serves as a mirror for interrogating how we communicate with our communities.
Personally, before responding to a challenging email, I ask myself: In what ways does my draft response honor their dignity? Am I listening to understand, or responding to correct? When I’m preparing remarks about a charged topic on the board agenda, I can assess: Am I speaking at a 7-8 on the Index, modeling the discourse I want to see? Or is my language slipping into the lower stages on the continuum, even if I’m doing it with polite language?
As with those festive family table conversations, we can choose how we show up. During these trying times, the Dignity Index offers a powerful tool to transform not just our conversations, but the very fabric of our communities. Our scholars are waiting on us. Our communities deeply desire another way forward. Let’s commit to showing them what dignity looks like—one difficult moment, conversation, and success at a time.
To learn more about the dignity index visit https://www.dignity.us/index
