Leadership and Development Trainer
Combating bullying in our schools doesn’t take a lot of time and it doesn’t cost a lot of money, but it does take a huge commitment from everyone – the administration, the teachers, the staff, and the students.
Bullying is a huge problem in many schools, so make a decision to do everything in your power to combat it. If you hear something, say something. If you see something, do something. It takes courage, but courage combined with civility can have a profound impact in your school, and it’s not that complicated.
Mark Scharenbroich, an internationally known hall of fame motivational speaker, initiated his career speaking to student audiences. His message had a different twist than a lot of others who talked to students. When addressing students, many speakers say, “These are the greatest days of your life.” Mark presented a different perspective. “For many of you, school is great and these are some of the best days of your lives but for too many others, school sucks.”
This provides insight that reminds us to do everything we can to create a school climate that is warm and welcoming for everyone, especially those students struggling with challenges we can’t begin to understand. The last thing they need is to suffer the devastating effects of being bullied by others.
Go Get a Coke
The cornerstone of our training can be illustrated by the story of a dance DJ. At breaktime, as he was visiting with some of the patrons, one of them told a racist joke. The DJ said, “I really don’t like racist jokes. I think I’ll go get a Coke.” Four other people followed.
What a great move. Although four people shared his views, it took his leadership to spur a call to action. We can learn a lot about the power of leadership and “followership” from this story. His leadership gave others the courage to act, and their willingness to follow intensified the message. The followers also became leaders and reinforced a strong and clear message to others.
This story carries a powerful lesson as we work to combat bullying in our schools. The first is a lesson in methodology. He didn’t get in the joke-teller’s face and call him a racist or use any form of personal attack, but simply dealt with the unwanted remark in a calm and civil manner, letting his behavior convey his message.
The second lesson to be learned is the importance of being an ally. We can all learn to intervene when we observe bullying and inspire others to help. If a student steps in to intervene and is getting hammered by the bully, others need to step in and help. A simple statement like, “They are right. There is no place in our school for this kind of behavior,” sends a powerful message. Follow up by reporting the incident to the appropriate staff members and hope that the school has a plan in place to deal with incidents in a corrective rather than just a punitive manner.
In my seminars, I use four quotes to encourage ongoing skill development for combating bullying, racism, sexism, antisemitism, and all other forms of unkindness that inflict pain on others.
The one most relevant and specific to combatting bullying is from Eli Wiesel, a survivor of the Nazi concentration camps. “I swore never to be silent whenever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.”
Individually, and as a society, it is time to stand up and be counted, and what better place to start than in our schools. There are far too many people with racist, sexist, homophobic, and anti-Semitic beliefs who may never change, so our goal is not to beat them down or outshout them. Our goal is to outnumber them. As a prominent politician phrased it, “When enough of us stand up, the rest will follow.”
Branch Rickey, owner of the Brooklyn Dodgers, signed Jackie Robinson to a contract with the Dodgers, breaking the color barrier in major league baseball. Robinson endured boos and jeers and horrendous racism, but his courage and the unwavering support of people like Rickey, Pee Wee Reese and others helped him endure and eventually win over fans and teammates. By changing the game of baseball, they changed the world. Their actions met with disapproval and many times downright hateful responses, but they had the courage of their convictions to, as John Lewis so eloquently stated, “answer the highest calling of their hearts and stand up for what they truly believed.”
As a school leader, when you promote respect and harmony in your school, all sorts of wonderful things begin to occur that otherwise may never have occurred. Let’s close with this harmonizing thought:
He prayed – it wasn’t my religion.
He ate – it wasn’t what I ate.
He spoke – it wasn’t my language.
He dressed – it wasn’t what I wore.
He took my hand – it wasn’t the color of mine.
But when he laughed – it was how I laughed.
And when he cried – it was how I cried.
Denny Smith, a former teacher and coach, is a motivational speaker committed to making our schools and communities safe and welcoming for all people. He is the author of four books. His latest, ALWAYS BE A CLASS ACT, is written for high school and youth sports athletes, their coaches, parents, and other adult mentors. The books are available on Amazon.
